Charlie Sheen's crazy quotes offer plenty of joy

I love award shows. So, you'd figure this update would relate to the Academy Awards. However, that's not true, first of all, because I was at work, and I missed most of the show. Second, from what I hear, the show was a dud, and much of the blame is placed upon co-host James Franco. I can't help but love Franco, so instead of focusing on his Oscar performance, I'll instead think about his brilliant Twitter account and photos, like this:



Anyway, the Academy Awards are not my main form of entertainment. No, my great joy this week comes from Charlie Sheen. Always a powder keg, the Franz Ferdinand moment came in January when he was sent to the hospital (and rehab) and production on his show "Two and a Half Men" was shut down due to Sheen's absence. In this last week, Sheen and "Men" creator Chuck Lorre have gotten into a war of words that turned anti-Semitic when Sheen mocked Lorre changing his name to sound less Jewish (which is rich, seeing as how "Carlos Estevez" wasn't Hollywood enough, and "Charlie Sheen" was better).

It turns out, those shocking comments were just the tip of the iceberg. In the past couple of days, Sheen has appeared on "the Today Show," "Piers Morgan Tonight," "20/20" and more, delivering mind-bogglingly scary/crazy/awesome/perfect (they're a little of all of these adjectives) phrases. To list them all would take forever, but, among the highlights:

*Frequent references to the word "winning," as well as "bi-winning: "I’m not bi-polar, I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there."
*"I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitchin', a total rock star from Mars, and people can't figure me out; they can't process me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a normal brain."
*"Clearly I have defeated this earthworm [Lorre] with my words, imagine what I would have done with my fire-breathing fists."
*Frequent references to having "tiger blood and Adonis DNA," and being a warlock.

And, my personal favorite: "I am on a drug, it's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body." That's right, everyone, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas have lied to you for 30 years, the Nazis were brought down by Sheen, not the Ark of the Covenant.

Debate continues over Sheen's mental condition - is he bipolar, having a manic episode? Is he high now, or is he now sober and crashing?

I'm not going to say that Sheen doesn't have some sort of mental anguish, but I honestly get the sense that the majority of his issues have to do with his massive ego. He's desperate to remain in the spotlight and truly believes he deserves more money for his work on "Two and a Half Men." Compared to someone like Gary Busey, a celebrity who has obvious mental issues/brain injuries, I see Sheen's meltdown as a different kind of breakdown. It's largely ego-driven.

This man has been pushing the limits for years, between the Heidi Fleiss scandal, the cocaine overdose(s), charges of domestic violence against his wives, and more. He knows he can get away with it - "Two and a Half Men" still became and remains a hit regardless of the stunts he pulls. So, he's going to pull out all the stops, all the egocentric thoughts in his head to get what he wants. This isn't a mental breakdown, it's an ego-driven one. Or, at least, that's what I'm going to tell myself so I don't feel bad about laughing endlessly at his "Sheenanigans."

If you haven't seen any of Sheen's recent interviews, here's a small clip of his "Today Show" interview.



Also worth checking out: Cats Quote Charlie Sheen and Sheen's new Twitter account.

What do you think? Are people being insensitive to a public mental breakdown, or is this just desserts for years of celebrity entitlement?